It’s been ages since I’ve had a half decent first date, not to mention a second or third date. Lately, that’s changed, and I’m happy to say, that I’ve even made it to a forth date. So far things are good, but for some reason, I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just don’t feel at ease. I can’t describe it, but there’s something missing. I wish he were a bit more romantic. I wish he’d whisper how sexy he thinks I look or send me cute text messages reminding me how much he misses me. I wish he’d offer to take me out to dinner or buy me flowers. When did romance die? And why wasn’t I updated or informed?
They say the best way to get a date is to get a date. Once you have that first date with some random guy, suddenly, guys tend to find you more attractive and date worthy and the offers keep spilling in. That’s how things are now. Suddenly, within a week of our first date, some guy started hitting on me in one of my classes. Another found me in a common interest group on Facebook and asked me out. Someone from game night said he’s got to take me out for a drink sometime and the offers just keep pouring in. I have to admit, it’s nice. I know it’s shallow, but there’s some sort of validation in it all that gives a boost of self confidence, which is much needed in my paranoid situation. Yes, I’m the paranoid type. The fact that we’ve been on a few dates and he offers to meet again doesn’t mean he wants me. I still feel insecure. When he calls prior to a set date, I’m fearful he’s calling to cancel. When he comes late, I’m fearful he isn’t coming at all. When he leaves, a little piece of my heart aches, as I wonder if I’ll see him again or get dumped first.
I know that the way he acts, I shouldn’t feel insecure. Or at least not as insecure as I feel. I know I’m being overly paranoid and that there’s nothing to worry about. Besides, I’ve had my heart broken before and I’ve survived… In the end, I’m a survivor and I will overcome, if the need arises. In the meantime, I have to learn to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
So much easier said than done!
rhobar
